? Brass Monkeys

Well its that time of year again, loads of simians walking around looking for pawnbrokers. It is also time to make the usual set of rash promises about how things next year will be different !

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'dung-hoeing'

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Well strangely there doesn't yet seem to be a run on baked beans at the moment even though as the Millennium bug stalks the streets of cyberspace as we speak.

However there will still be massive global warming, as the methane normally produced by the sheeps of New Zealand and the paddy fields of SE Asia, is supplemented by 'gung-ho' survivalists out in the backwoods of Oregano. These Mad Max's and Minnies will then, 2 days later, return to their homes in suburbia and thankfully rename them 'dun-hoeing'

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Second Millennium

However we have over a week to contemplate this nightmare scenario, so lets concentrate on our plans for the ContaminatedLand website in the dying embers of the Second Millennium.

Yes I know there is lively debate over when the 3rd millennium starts - is it January 1st 2000, or is it after HAL opens the pod-door? Whatever lets just be grateful we were not around when they switched the calendar from Julian to Gregorian way back on October 4th 1582, and everyone lost around 10 days (depending on how drunk you were at the time - that ergot rotgut was strong stuff !)

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New Year / MMillenniuMM Resolutions for 1999/2000

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So how did our planned resolutions from last year actually pan-out?

1. Adopt a business model that makes money by mimicking current environmental risk assessment models
   
   i.e. Source ==> Pathway ==> Target
   (where we are the pathway by which you get information from various sources) - Still working on it - like everyone else on the Internet!
2. Redesign the site to make it easier to read and follow - Almost there
3. Update content on a regular basis, with cross referencing - Links for this Topic.
4. Update the jobs page (j-a to j-k) every 10 days - Jobs-tit.htm.
5. Send out a regular email news letter (based on input from next-door's 2 Burmese cats) - First issue of Zak-n-Bur due first week January 2000
6. Produce a series of 'fact-sheets' summarising the 'rambles in the brambles' that catch at your feet when you traverse the website looking for nuggets of information about safe ingestion - Still working on it.
7. Implement a proper indexing system (like you get in one of them book things) - Search engine to be installed instead.
8. Try to code the site in XML (aargh!) - XML is passe let's do the WAP warp again.
9. See the meteor storm on the 17th of November 1999 - Typical English Autumn weather - it was raining.
10. And finally see the total eclipse in Cornwall in August (although how one can see it when its dark is mystifying !) - 1 hour north of Paris, we had 2 minutes of totality which was totally MINDBLOWING!!!!!.