There is a lot of Government Guidance on Contaminated Land, however the big event everyone is waiting for is the eventual appearance of 'Those Government Guidelines' - yes the ones that are supposed to appear by July 1999.
Unfortunately a little dicky bird has whispered in the ear of the good Dr Hackenbush that there might be a little delay (yes yet another one!) and that they might not appear before the Autumn of 1999.
At first sight it seemed as if they might blame the delay on the Millennium bug and not issue them until the 'Mother of all Hangovers' cleared on the 2nd Jan 2000 - at least that way there would have been nobody in any condition to raise any objections (as they would in all probability be stuck in a lift somewhere!)
However this Government is not shy of grasping the ne(w)ttle, and shortly before the Millbank Council met to hear the recantation of Galileo Livingstone (who doubtless also said Eppur si muove when talking about the Tube system) it issued the latest round of Guidance at the beginning of October.
Good news for all, although Mathematics is not a strong point of our glorious nation (afterall the number 28 was blocked by the House of Lords, whilst the number 143 fared no better in the House of Commons) our genetically modified legislators have decreed that the number 57 is safe for release into the wild.
So from henceforth (well at least from the 1st of April 2000) let there be rejoicing throughout the land, as consultants scrabble to learn how to pronounce CLEA, as well as pronouncing upon CLEA.
Alas for Galileo Livingstone the news is not so good, as it has been decreed that it is not safe for him to be released into the wild, as it is feared that the Tube bacterium that now is part of his genetic makeup, may prove deadly to the Humble Cabbage White Dobson butterfly that flutters so delicately in the warm London Spring sunshine.
Better news for other Government Guidance, apparently Gordon Brown crossed with the Bt bacterium is perfectly safe as it will only give rise to share price falls in the short-term (unless the Froggies get their hands on our local wolf of course)
Oh by the way do you fancy seeing if you'd get into Mensa (the high IQ society) well then try solving this little algebraic conundrum, related to London, where :-
A = Labour party members (49,000)
B = Trade Union members (433,000)
C = MP's, MEP's, GLA Candidates (75)
now prove the following
35.2 A + 26.9 B + 86.4 C > 54.9 A + 70.9 B + 12.0 C